Foundation 13 of 20 · Reach
How to Ask Customers for Referrals and Reviews
The Customers Who Love You Will Tell Others. Most of Them Are Waiting to Be Asked.
"They love the place. Isn't that enough? Why would I ask them for anything?" If your customers love you but new ones rarely mention who sent them, you are leaving referrals to chance. Here is how to ask customers for referrals and reviews, with a sentence you can say and something they can hand over.
Last Updated: 10/25/2026 · Written by Dr. Paul Borosky, DBA, MBA
The Short Answer
How Do You Ask for Referrals?
Textbook Definition
Referral marketing is a strategy that encourages existing customers to recommend a business to others, typically through direct requests, referral materials, and incentives, leveraging the high trust of personal recommendations.
In Plain English
Asking for referrals means saying one plain sentence to happy customers that invites them to send a friend, and giving them something easy to hand over. Asking for reviews means giving customers a simple way to say in public what they would tell you in private.
Why It Matters
Why Don't Happy Customers Refer You on Their Own?
They want to. It just never occurs to them, and when it does, they have nothing to hand over. A recommendation from a friend is the most trusted marketing there is, and most small businesses leave it entirely to luck.
Kind owners often refuse to ask because it feels like taking. It is not. Asking for the referral is letting customers do something they already want to do for you. The owners who do best at it usually think they are bad at selling.
Signs you have this problem:
- Customers say "my friend would love this" and you have nothing to give them.
- You have no card, link, or simple way for people to find you.
- You have never asked a customer to send a friend.
- You only ask customers you are sure will say yes.
- Your happy customers are invisible, while a complaint is on display.
- New customers say a friend told them, but you never thanked the friend.
What It Looks Like
What It Looks Like When a Fan Has Nothing to Hand Over
From the Fabled Forest · Chapter 13
A deer named Delilah finished a waffle at Louie's and loved it. "My sister would love this," she said. "Have you got a card?" Louie beamed: "We don't do cards! Tell her to come by!" Delilah asked, kindly, how her sister was supposed to find it. Louie drew a map on a napkin.
In three years, one customer had come from across the river. Louie believed every one of the forty people in the room would send someone. He had never asked one, and they had nothing to give anyone but a napkin. Meanwhile, Dani's old flyer by his register got picked up two or three times a month.
Hazel drew a card with directions and "First coffee's on the house if you say who sent you." Louie practiced one sentence eleven times until it sounded like him. A clipboard by the door asked "What did you think?" The old badger took ten cards. Delilah's sister came with two friends. One review said the coffee was cold, so Louie bought a new pot.
Louie's story is Chapter 13 of Marketing for Small Businesses, Book 4 of Dr. Paul's Fabled Forest Business School Series.
The Fix
How to Ask for Referrals and Reviews in 5 Steps
Simple tools, used every day, by everyone who talks to customers.
Write one sentence you can say without wincing.
"If you know somebody who would like it here, bring them, or give them this." Practice until it sounds like you.
Give customers something to hand over.
A card with how to find you and one reason to come. Online, a link or a referral code.
Make it easy to leave a review.
A link on the receipt, a QR code at the counter, a clipboard by the door. Asking for the review should take the customer less than a minute.
Ask all your happy customers, not just the safe ones.
You will be surprised who has a sister. Follow the review site's rules, too: ask honestly, and do not pay for or filter reviews.
Thank the referrer and the referred.
Something small and real, like a coffee, a discount, or a note. And respond when someone leaves a review, good or bad.
Dr. Paul's Insight
The most common mistake is only asking the customers you are sure will say yes. Ask all the happy ones. The second mistake is having nothing to give them. A sentence without a card or link leaves your customer drawing maps on napkins. Make recommending you as easy as handing over one thing.
Sample: A Referral Card and Sentence
The card goes in the customer's hand. The sentence is said at checkout.
| Front | Café name, logo, and a photo customers recognize. |
| Back | Directions in one line: "Corner by the square. Cross at the bridge and follow your nose." |
| Thank-you | "First coffee is on us if you say who sent you." |
| The sentence | "If you know somebody who would like it here, bring them, or give them this." |
| Review | "What did you think?" link or clipboard by the door. |
Sample for illustration. Follow the rules of any review site you use.
Watch
Video: How to Ask for Referrals Without Feeling Like a Salesperson
How to Ask Customers for Referrals and Reviews
Dr. Paul writes a referral sentence and designs a simple card on screen.
From the Book
How's She Going to Find It?
Chapter 13 · Referral Marketing
Her Sister Would Love It: A Labrador's Unasked Favor
"That's lovely," she said to Louie, when she had finished. "That's really lovely. My sister would love this. Have you got a card? Something I can give her?"
Louie beamed. "Oh, we don't do cards," he said, with enormous warmth. "Never have. Tell her to come by! On the house!"
The deer looked at him for a moment, with her head slightly on one side.
"How's she going to find it?" she said. Not unkindly. Just asking.
What did Louie hand customers next, and who showed up the following Wednesday? Find out in Chapter 13. Book 4 of Dr. Paul's Fabled Forest Business School Series.
Get the Book on Amazon →FAQ
Referral Questions
How do I ask customers for referrals?
Should I offer a reward for referrals?
How do I get more online reviews?
What is the difference between referral marketing and word of mouth?
Keep Going
Related Foundations
Referrals connect four foundations that turn happy customers into your best marketing. New to a term on this page? Every one is in the marketing glossary.
Foundation 19 · Word-of-Mouth Marketing
Referrals are word of mouth you grow on purpose.
Foundation 14 · Reputation Management
Reviews will include complaints. Answer them in public.
Foundation 20 · Relationship Marketing
Strong relationships make referrals natural.
Foundation 16 · Marketing Attribution
Ask "who sent you?" and track the answer.
Written by Dr. Paul Borosky, DBA, MBA, business consultant and author who helps owners get found by the right customers. Want help turning happy customers into a steady source of referrals? See business growth plan options.
This page is for general educational purposes only. It is not legal, financial, or other professional advice. Trademark, privacy, and advertising rules vary, so talk with a qualified professional before registering a name, collecting customer data, or making claims about a competitor. Dollar figures are illustrations. The Fabled Forest and its characters are fictional. For decisions about your own business, consult a qualified professional.